I’ve been out for a year! (almost)

Exactly one year ago on April 20th 2022 I came out.

*sarcastic applause*

 (For the sake of my posting schedule we can just pretend that it is in fact the 20th). 

It was 5:17 P.M…

No. I have no idea what time it was. But it was a Wednesday, and I found myself sitting on the couch explaining my sexuality to my parents. 

Although I have had this blog for quite some time, I have never shared my coming out story which is often a first area of discussion amongst queer communities. This story is one I feel comfortable sharing with my close friends and other queer individuals I meet throughout my life, however, I have no desire to share it with the whole internet. Maybe one day I will, but today is not that day. My coming out experience was not bad, but it wasn’t amazing. I was accepted with open arms and my family is very supportive. However, it was very emotional, and not something I love thinking about, as there were things I wish would have gone better. You never really understand how actually draining it is to come out until you have to do it, especially for the first time. 

Nevertheless, here we are, and I’m really gay. 

When I first came out I was still pretty “secretive” about my sexuality. It was hard to say “I’m asexual,”  or “I’m queer” out loud. Today it’s practically as easy as saying my own name. I always knew there would be a time when I finally figured out my sexuality and lived out and proud as so many others did, and wow, why don’t you look at that, here we are!

In order to celebrate here are some things I have experienced, learned, and found out about myself as a very gay person. 

1. I love rainbows.
2. I love gay jokes. 
3. I don’t have to dress gay to find comfort in my sexuality. Although this was something I did at first, my style has evolved to feel like my own, and not a stereotype of what queerness is supposed to look like. Although, I do happen to dress pretty stereotypically queer because it’s what I like and it makes me happy. 
4. I find myself not wanting to read books or watch movies or listen to music that is not queer or queer coded. 
5. I did not realize how badly I needed queer friends and community. 
6. I love discussing my sexuality and the complexity of human feelings. 
7. Everyday my desire to live in a cottage and write poetry and marry a pretty person and own a pet cow grows. 
8. I still contemplate labels for my romantic orientation, but not for long, and I really vibe with not labeling my romantic orientation. 
9. When me or my friends make sex jokes about me it’s really funny. 
10. Allo people confuse me less than they used to.
11. I am becoming more sex-averse/repulsed as sex becomes a more common topic of discussion on my college campus. 

Here I want to make a special thank you to my friends and queer people in my life no matter if we’re best friends or just mild acquaintances through school or social media. 

Hi people in my life. Thank you for letting me be myself. Thank you for letting me make gay jokes and wear silly little gay outfits and for liking my posts on Instagram about pride and giving me suggestions for queer media and sending me queer memes and loving me for who I am. I have found so much joy and confidence in myself this past year; it is truly unbelievable. I am the happiest I’ve ever been and continue to find even more joy in my life. 

Not me getting emotional writing that last paragraph. 

Coming out has truly changed my life and I cannot even begin to fathom how different and unhappy I would be if I wasn’t able to be myself. I am so incredibly grateful to live in a place that is so accepting and be surrounded by queer people and allies who love me for who I am. 

Okay. That’s enough cheesy emotional gushy stuff for one day. 

Love,

Jadey ❤

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