Considering I’m working towards a degree in English, I figured I might as well put my analysis skills to use in order to share my five favorite ace songs.

1. We’ll Never Have Sex – Leith Ross

We’re starting off this blog post with the only song on this list actually written about asexuality. Due to that reason, this song holds a special place in my heart, and obviously has to be placed at spot number one. 

“Oh you kissed me just to kiss me/Not to take me home” 

There is something about asexual love that I find quite pure and genuine. I think this line captures that beautifully, illustrating a kiss truly out of love and affection, rather than sexual desire without intimacy attached.

“I don’t wonder about your indifference” 

There is a great deal of indifference in many aces feelings towards sex or romance. As someone dating an aromantic, I find this line especially relatable and heartfelt. Even though I, or others, may not experience attraction the same way as many others, that doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad. Emotions don’t need to be passionate and strong to be valid. Indifference can be just as beautiful.

“If I said you could never touch me/You’d come over and say I looked lovely”

THIS LINE. I could cry every time I hear it. The overwhelming love and respect in this one line has me screaming, crying, and throwing up.

“Come and kiss me, pretty baby/Like we’ll never have sex”

A kiss that won’t lead to anything else!! With no expectations!! It’s just out of love!!

2. It’s Nice to Have a Friend – Taylor Swift (honorable mention: cowboy like me) 

“Something gave you the nerve/To touch my hand/It’s nice to have a friend”

This is the perfect line to describe alterous attraction. There’s a hint of romance, yet immediately followed is platonic attraction. 

“Call my bluff, call you ‘babe’”

As the song progresses, so does this relationship, going from childhood school friends to something more intimate that hints towards romance: a relatable and wholesome piece. 

“…stay in bed/The whole weekend”

This is the dream. 

3. Like Real People Do – Hozier

“Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips/We should just kiss like real people do”

Even though I don’t experience sexual attraction, that doesn’t mean some aspects of it don’t appeal to me. The butterflies of a first kiss. The anticipation and romance that comes with it. Maybe I should pretend to be like “real people” and try it myself. 

4. Crush Culture – Conan Gray (honorable mention: People Watching)

“I don’t care if I’m forever alone/I’m not falling for you/’Cause this baby is loveproof”

I don’t care what anyone has to say, Cone wrote this song for the aromantics. 

“Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out”

Another line for my romance repulsed aros. 

Can we talk about the imagery in this line though? The hyperbole?! Conan said so much with just a simple line. We stan. 

“I’m sick of the kissing cult”

The energy spent questioning every single interaction with your crush, every text message, wondering what to wear or what to say. It all seems exhausting. If I could get sick of hearing about it, I can’t imagine hearing about all of your friends or peers conquests when you want that to happen to you. 

I’ve personally never felt pressured to join in on these stereotypical high school experiences, having a romantic first kiss being one of them. That’s probably because I think kissing is gross. Why on earth would I want to press my lips on someone elses and have their saliva on me?!  I have no idea. I truly can’t see the appeal no matter how hard I try. I see the love in couples eyes when they do it!! I do!! It’s just not for me. 

I guess that makes me, as well as Cone, sick of the kissing cult. 

5. Broken – lovelytheband

“I like that you’re broken, broken like me/Maybe that makes me a fool/I like that you’re lonely, lonely like me/I could be lonely with you”

There’s a strange sense of irony with being queer. As much as queer existance has to do with community, it is in fact, quite isolating. At times it is very easy to feel alone. Especially with asexuality, the so-called “invisible orientation,” makes it very easy to feel isolated. It can feel like there is no one who understands your experience. The way you personally experience attraction. Yet, we have to remember that there are people out there who understand you completely, and hopefully we’ll all be able to meet one and find comfort together through our loneliness. 

I love how these lines show hope for meeting that right person, if a partner is something you’re looking for. Even though society has called me broken for being asexual, maybe I, or other a-spec people, could find each other, and find comfort together in the loneliness we felt for so long. 

“Think I could love you, but I’m not sure”

THIS. This is the ace experience. 

I can love you, but is it in the way you love me? Is it enough for you? Is it okay that I love you differently? The way I love other people? I’m not sure. 

This line encapsulates those questions, that confusion, perfectly. 

For more songs and ace vibes: 

Jadey’s Ace Playlist  

If you know of any other songs by asexual artists, or that have ace vibes, I will gladly take any recommendations. 🙂

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