This post contains discussion of the fourth season of Sex Education and spoilers are included. Read at your own risk!

Sarah “O” Owens is Sex Education’s new and explicitly asexual character. She’s edgy, a woman of color, and a sex therapist. She’s breaking stereotypes of what it means for someone to be asexual. Heck, asexual activist Yasmin Benoit worked with the show to create the script to create O. This was an opportunity for asexuality to be portrayed positively in an extremely popular television show.

I was so excited. I knew if Yasmin, a creator I’ve been following for well over a year, created this character, she was going to be awesome.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I dislike this character immensely. She’s mean. She’s cold. She’s a bully. 

All and all, she is unlikeable. 

Now, from my understanding this wasn’t supposed to be the case. Yasmin took to Instagram a few days after the new season was aired stating that “some important moments were cut out or changed” from the original script, making O out to be a less likable character. According to the comments on that post by other aces, they find this is upsetting, but not surprising. 

Important aspects of the character, including intersectionality of race, privilege, and acephobia were cut from the show. Yasmin states that “There was meant to be a scene of O receiving acephobic bullying in camp & deflecting by shifting focus to Ruby.” Unfortunately these lines were removed, and O was made out to be a bully, making fun of her friends to seemingly fit in with the other popular girls at camp when the girls were younger. 

Yasmin even goes to say that “portraying an asexual character as inherently “cold” was dangerous.” I agree. We all know there are many asexual stereotypes out there, and portraying an explicit ace character as someone rude and selfish continues to push the narrative that asexual people are emotionless, robotic, and broken. 

Understandably, “O was not meant to be a villain. She was a WOC being pushed out of a space she had found success in by a white guy who thought he deserved to be there more than her.” O does come across unlikeable, but that isn’t too shocking for the show. Many of the characters make frustrating decisions and at times are unlikeable, however, O seemed to have no likable qualities until later in the show. 

Supposedly, O was “meant to be the target of a petty smear campaign that led her to being outed.” Some scenes from the episode where O was outed must have been changed, because as a viewer, and most importantly as an ace person, it did not seem crucial for O to come out in front of the entire school. I watched this episode, cringing at the debate knowing that O was going to come out, but praying that it wouldn’t happen. It was too predictable. The idea made me uncomfortable. Obviously it still happened. 

There’s a scene where Otis and O are stuck in an elevator, or lift, as the British say, and they’re forced to talk to each other even though they’re rivals, campaigning to win the spot to have the only on-campus sex clinic. Why can’t there be two clinics…I guess that wouldn’t make for a good plot. 

During this scene, O reveals how she just wanted to fit in with the other kids, and deeply regrets what she did to Ruby. She began learning about sex to seem educated around her peers, which became a passion for her and she ended up starting her clinic. Sadly, she asks “Who wants to have sex advice from someone who doesn’t have sex?” 

Obviously, I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I’m glad they portrayed the isolation that many aces feel, including myself. It is really strange to have everyone around you feel the same way, and you be the only one who doesn’t understand. 

During this conversation Otis asks her if she said she was ace just to make him look bad, suggesting she is lying about her sexuality. I had a visceral reaction to this comment, cringing at how ignorant and aphobic it was. This was obviously meant to highlight aphobia and teach Otis, as well as the viewers how many ace people feel isolated, and aphobic comments do a lot of harm. 

Finally, O seemed to come around after a more touching scene. She became friendlier with everyone, including Otis, who let O have her clinic on campus after seeing how much it meant to her. 

I’m obviously upset that this character who was explicitly ace was very unlikeable. I really wanted a relatable ace character, and I feel as though I did not relieve that. O is breaking a lot of stereotypes for what it means to be asexual, and I so appreciate that, however I wish she did what the community expected of her.  

This just goes to show that asexual representation is needed even more, and the media needs to put in more work to represent our community.