A wild event has occurred in the world of this average asexual. Something crazy, something wild…something one could even call…unexpected.
I went on a date.
And I know what you’re thinking. “Jadey, you’re so hot and cool and smart of course you went on a date.” And yes, it seems like I should have suitors throwing rocks at my window and banging down my front door for a chance to get to know me and have the possibility to interact with all of this wit and charisma. But alas, I’ve been in a bit of a dry spell.
For a while I’ve been on the dating app we’ve all come to know and love called Hinge. And let me tell you, I was in the trenches. Everyone was ugly. The people who rarely (and I mean rarely) liked me were not my type. And when I finally did come across someone I liked, they never matched with me, or their conversation was dry to the bone.
Honestly, I was starting to get offended. I am incredibly cool. I have many interests and hobbies. I look hot on my profile and I only mentioned my love of Conan Gray an appropriate one time.
But it turns out I matched with someone I was actually interested in. Someone who seemed cool and funny – so we started messaging on the app. And then they asked for my number. And we started texting. And one thing led to another and I asked them on a date, and then we went on aforementioned date.
Now. All I really wanted out of this was something to add to the plot. To get to know someone. If something came about, awesome, but I wasn’t necessarily going into this date hoping to find the love of my life (besides I already found him, and we all know it’s Conan Gray).
And I simply liked the idea that I met this person, happenstance, because we were on the same app at the same time, and liked each other enough to meet in person. Even for a split second in time, the universe crossed our paths. We went from strangers to acquaintances, and I think that’s pretty cool.
My Hinge date and I did what every lesbian does on a date; we went on a picnic. But that was only after we met at a record store and picked up food to sit in the sun at a local park.
I had never been on a Hinge date, and I had never been on a date with a stranger. And when I told my Hinge date that, they said, “Yeah I could kinda tell.” To which I simply responded “Oh, I guess I’ll leave.”
And the date was kinda exactly what you would expect. We simply got to know each other. My goal for the evening was to make my date laugh, and I can confidently say I succeeded in that. In fact, that was what we did all evening, was simply laugh.
The most unexpected part of this date was how validating of an experience it was. There I was, on a homosexual date, and the expectation was to be queer. We had similar experiences in discovering our queerness, we both couldn’t see ourselves in fulfilling relationships with men, we both were active in our local queer communities. We talked about how our first dates were with men, how we realized we were queer at the same age.
I have a lot of queer friends, though my closest queer friends all experience attraction to men. There are aspects of our queerness that are strikingly similar, and there are aspects that are different. To be able to speak to a stranger, and to relate to them on such an intense level was honestly awesome. I felt so comfortable. We were in a public space, we were two visibly queer people, discussing queer topics, and I felt safe.
It was shockingly validating to speak to this person about my queerness. And when I mentioned my asexuality, they didn’t bat an eye. There were no awkward ace questions. No “What does that mean?” it was simply another fact about me, and a piece of my queer experience, and I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction.
Now. Let’s get to the juicy part. The question you’ll all probably wondering. Did we go on a second date?
Sorry to disappoint, but no. And honestly, I’m incredibly happy with that. We went on a date, we laughed a lot, and we never need to see each other ever again. I felt like we would be friends as opposed to interested in each other romantically, and from what I can tell, we’re on the same page about that.
So all in all, I would rate my first Hinge date a solid 8 out of 10. I looked hot. I was funny. I wasn’t kidnapped or worse, put in a painfully awkward conversation.
Shout out to the person I went on a date with. There’s a good chance you’ll never see this, but in case you do, now you can say someone wrote a blog post about the time they went on a date with you, so you’re welcome for that.
Average Asexual 