Look who’s back. It’s been a while since my last blog post, I know. In fact, this whole year my blog has lacked the consistency of the near weekly posts I made during my first year of blogging. I do think about it pretty often, wondering why my consistency has lacked. 

“Oh Jadey,” I ask myself, “why haven’t you posted on your blog?”

And in return, the little Jadey in my mind simply says, “I don’t have anything to say.” 

I started this blog a mere few months after I came out. I was dealing with what it was like to be a queer person in the world. I was learning what my queerness and my asexuality meant to me. I was in my first relationship. I dealt with my first breakup. I started college and attended queer club meetings and I continued to find out more about my queer identity.

This past year I made a queer friend group that quickly became one of the most important things in my life. I applied to be the president of my campus’s gay club and got the job, which I’ll start in the fall. I’ve continued to find confidence within my identity, and now, I have found a quite cliche amount of “inner peace,” if you will. 

My queerness has simply rooted itself deep in my bones and blossomed in a way of fact. I no longer feel confusion or difficulty in my queerness. Being queer, though a huge part of my life, has settled in a way I never expected. 

And because of that, I have not had much to say to the public. But in reality, I find that an incredibly happy thing. My blog was once an outlet for all of my confusion and frustration and queer joy I was feeling for the first time. I needed a way to express myself instead of keeping my feelings bottled in. My blog became a diary of sorts, and the simple act of writing helped me articulate major life events. And it just so happens that I posted it on the internet for anyone to read. 

Now of course, you never know what the future holds. In a month or two, something absolutely crazy could happen, and I could be writing pages and pages of advice and experiences and questions and music recommendations. But for now, all of this is to say, I’m at an incredibly joyful, comfortable place in my queerness. 

I still identify as ace, and can never see that changing. I’ve let a few labels swim around here in there for my romantic orientation, but for now, I still find joy in being unlabeled, and using queer as an umbrella term. As the love of my life Conan Gray says, I “don’t give a fuck about labels.” 

I’ve become more clear in how I feel as a queer girl, no longer worrying about labels to articulate my gender. Recently I’ve realized that at the start of my queerness, I changed my style to outwardly show my queerness to other people. Although I still do that, and find that it suits me best, I still love to lean hyper-femme, and have started to embrace that more. 

I’ve been reading tons of queer novels, watching queer shows, and writing tons of short stories over the summer, obviously starring queer, and usually ace, characters. 

So, that’s my update for you all. A quite joyous one I do have to say. Who knows what the future holds, this could be an update for the next few months, or the start of an explosion of blog posts. 

Until then, stay gay!

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