I wrote a blog post a couple months ago about books on asexuality that you should (or shouldn’t) read, and since then I’ve read a few more so it only makes sense that I should make a part two. And as always, I am gladly accepting recommendations/suggestions for books and authors to read!
- Refusing Compulsory Sexuality – Sherronda Brown
At the end of the first blog post I mentioned that I was currently reading Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda Brown, and oh my god that book changed my life.
Now, this could sound stupid to some, but this book really opened my eyes to white supremacy and how everything (sex, gender, patriarchy, politics) boils down to white nationalism. And sure, I knew about this, but as a white person, I live in a little bubble of privilege and am clearly naive to the difficulties surrounding race, because I’ll never experience life as a person of color. The way whiteness is so deeply tied to society and heteronormativity and sexuality is so deeply rooted it is almost unfathomable. And it is so interesting to learn how asexuality, and especially Black asexuality, goes against these cultural norms. This book discussed race, the hyper-sexualization of Black girls, the fear of the Black phallus, BLM categories on Pornhub, disability, colonization, discrimination of aces in the queer community, asexuality as a white identity, and literally so much more. If you’re interested in critical race theory, or queer and gender theory, I’m sure you would find this book fascinating.
Rating: 8/10
Would I recommend it? Yes 100%.
Would I read again? Yes. This book is definitely a scholarly one, so it is not the easiest read, but it is incredibly interesting and super educational.
- How to be Ace – Rebecca Burgess
Like the last blog post, this was another book that, to my surprise, was a graphic novel. And by now we probably know I’m not the biggest graphic novel fan, but that did mean that I could read this book in a day. As an ace person who occasionally just wants to read a silly little book about another ace person, this was a great option. Rebecca simply just talked about how they realized they were ace and the experiences they had surrounding that (mostly in university) and how that coincided with their OCD and anxiety. The illustrations were cute and it had a happy ending so I don’t have any complaints.
Rating: 7/10
Would I recommend it? Sure!
Would I read again? Probably not. It was good, and an easy read, but I don’t find myself reaching for graphic novels often.
- The Charm Offensive – Alice Cochrun
When I picked this book up I didn’t expect any characters to be ace, but the main character is demisexual! This book was one I saw on BookTok, and if you know me, you know I have let BookTok screw me over again and again. I see a book on BookTok, everyone says they love it. I get said book. I read book. I don’t like book. I get upset everyone told me to read mediocre book. I go on BookTok. I pick up another book. The cycle continues.
Well thank god this book broke that cycle.
The Charm Offensive follows Dev and Charlie through a split POV as Dev works on a television show – basically The Bachelor – and ends up falling for the bachelor himself, Charlie. This is obviously an issue as Charlie has just realized he’s gay, and is most definitely supposed to fall in love with a woman on the show he signed up for to fix his reputation. This book was so cute. It was funny and sweet and I read it so quickly. Plus, there’s a tiny short story the author published called A Charmed Christmas that gives a quick update on the characters in the future.
Charlie is demisexual and Dev, who is allo, is nothing but supportive of this part of his identity. The ace representation was subtle, but nevertheless there, and that’s all I could ask for.
Rating: 8/10.
Would I recommend it? Yes!!
Would I read again? In a couple years I could definitely see myself picking this one back up for an easy, uplifting read.
- Kiss Her Once for Me – Alice Cochrun
Because I loved TCO so much I obviously had to read another book by Alice. And to (slightly less) of my surprise, the main character was once again demisexual. I would bet a decent amount of money this isn’t a coincidence and Alice herself is demi, so that means I’m probably supporting ace authors by buying her books and that’s a win/win situation!
KHOFM is a Christmas romance, though I think you could read it any time of year. Ellie and Jack had a meet-cute a year ago on Christmas that lasted only a single day, and due to some events we learn about later cause Ellie to run from the situation, leaving this perfect woman behind. In the present Ellie is still heartbroken over this amazing Christmas love affair. However, she is struggling to make ends meet, so she decides to join a crazy fake-marriage plan with her boss who promises to give her part of his inheritance he’ll earn only when he’s married. Ellie and Jack end up meeting again, and Ellie has to figure out if she should stay loyal to her faux-fiancé or follow her true feelings.
This was super cute and wasn’t as predictable as you might think. Plus, the character’s met at Powell’s Bookstore, and I’m currently writing a screenplay where the characters meet as Powell’s which is a crazy, but cool, coincidence.
Rating: 7.5/10
Would I recommend it? Yes!
Would I read again? Like Alice’s other book I could see myself reading this again a couple years from now.
- Asexual Erotics – Ela Przybylo
Asexual Erotics is not for the weak. Be warned: this book is a challenging read. And as someone very interested in queer theory, someone who consumes queer media, reads queer and feminist theory for fun, and is currently in school for a minor in gender and sexuality studies, this book had me scratching my head in confusion.
This book is incredibly academic. However, it is also incredibly interesting. While there are some paragraphs and sentences my brain skims over with lack of comprehension, there are certainly some amazing lines. Working on Audre Lorde’s theory of erotic, Przybylo defines erotics as “energy of collective struggle to end oppression” and ties this theory into race, lesbian bed death, feminist theory, spinsters, and the asexual child.
In order to explain this, here’s some sentences I found incredibly interesting:
“Ianna Hawkins Owens discusses how compulsory heterosexuality has uneven racial histories, such that whiteness has tended to emulate an ‘asexuality-as-ideal’ as demonstrative of a form of innocence, moral, control, and restraint, while black people have often been positioned as hypersexual so as to justify enslavement, lynching, and other instruments of racism.”
“Kathryn Kent argues that in the postbellum period and the early twentieth century, marriage signified differently for white women and black women such that white women sought self-autonomy through refusing marriage while black women sought self-determination and entry into the public sphere through marrying.”
I haven’t completed this book in total yet, and I’m currently about half way through. I found the introduction to be interesting, and the first and second chapter to be interesting but definitely more theorizing than actually proving anything. However, the second half of the book covers topics I think will peak my interest, so I’ll let you know when I finish,
Rating: TBD
Would I recommend it? Yes! However this is not for the faint of heart.
Would I read again? I can see myself using this as an academic piece in classes and discussions on asexuality. I would probably re-read certain parts and not the book in its entirety.
Average Asexual 