If there’s one thing about me, it’s that if I watch, read, or even look at something, it’s going to be queer. In honor of that, here’s my thoughts on some queer media I’ve consumed over the past month:
- Love Lies Bleeding
Last week I saw Love Lies Bleeding in theater, and it was crazy. First of all, I will state my bias and say that I am down bad for Kristen Stewart. She is, truly, so fine. So, was my main objective for seeing this movie my desire to stare at Kristen Stewart on screen for ninety minutes? Yes. Plus, I love gay people, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a gay movie in theaters.
Starting with the positives, this movie truly captures every lesbian experience and stereotype. Only lesbians will meet, have sex, and move in with each other the next day. Only lesbians will point a gun at their girlfriend to make out with her three seconds later. And, only lesbians will flee their home, bringing only their fluffy orange cat with them.
This movie was entertaining. Kristen Stewart was hot as hell. The auditory and visual components of this movie were insanely cool and the acting was genuinely good. I gave it a seven out of ten, although I could be convinced it was a 6 if you really tried due to the whack ending.
There were lesbians, murder, cover-ups, family drama, corrupt police officers, body builders, and some really weird bugs. Plus, the gay people in the movie didn’t die, so I consider that a win.
Now, that doesn’t mean this movie was perfect, because I certainly have some questions for the director. The ending was crazy. I assume it was a metaphor, but I could have gone without it. Also, there was a trauma induced throwing up scene, where Kristen Stewart was yakked out of the mouth of her jacked girlfriend, where she was a slimy larvae looking creature, and that was just plain weird. Plus, a lot of people died, and no one saw the murders happen?! I know the police are corrupt, but damn, not a single neighbor saw a body being dragged down the stairs?
If you want to see an entertaining- grungy-80s-horror-lesbian-film, this is the movie for you. 7/10.
- Late to The Party
Taking a completely different direction from that movie, two weeks ago I finished Kelly Quindlen’s novel, Late to The Party. I had heard really good things about this on TikTok (my first mistake) so I decided it was one I needed to read. Upon getting this book in my possession I did in fact realize that dear Kelly is the same person who wrote She Drives Me Crazy which I thought was just an overall bad book with annoying characters and juvenile writing. Unfortunately for me, and for Kelly, her writing hasn’t really seemed to improve since her last book. However, I did like this book more, but that’s not to say it didn’t have its faults.
First of all, the main character was annoying as hell. The writing was mediocre and the one word I would use to describe this book would be cringe. The main character had serious pick me energy, and blamed literally everyone else for her issues when they were in fact all her fault. The main character was 17 and was convinced she wasn’t a real teenager because she hadn’t kissed a girl or gone to a party. She was acting like she was the least cool person ever. Let’s be real right now, this chick just got her license and she’s acting like she’s forty and never tasted ice cream. Get a grip.
Unfortunately being a creative writing major has ruined my ability to enjoy books, because the entire time I was reading this I was workshopping it in my head and giving it some serious edits. But it did make me feel hopeful for the future because if a novel with this mediocre writing could be published, surely someone will want to publish me when I write my own novel.
That was a lot of negativity. I promise there were aspects of this book I liked. I did appreciate how the book didn’t focus on the character’s coming out. I prefer queer books where the characters are simply just queer. And, I am a sucker for a coming-of-age book. Plus, I may or may not have been close to tears or crying multiple times during this book. It was actually sweet, and I love young gay people meeting other gays and falling in love. It was kind of giving found family and I love that.
I was also pissed when I went on GoodReads and found that everyone and their grandma was giving this book a five out of five. Come on…
If you want a mediocre but sweet book about young gay kids that simultaneously makes you want to chuck your book across the room and cry happy tears, this is the book for you. 5/10.
- “Alley Rose”
Conan Gray’s third album is being released on April 5th, and he’s released his fourth single, so of course I’m feeling super normal and not at all insane about it.
But seriously, this song is so good. And I know what you’re thinking. Jadey, you absolutely eat up every single thing Conan does. And to that I would say, you’re completely right. However, with the last few singles, upon first listen I wasn’t crazy in love. Don’t get me wrong, they’re bops, but it took some time for them to grow on me. But when “Alley Rose” came out, oh my god. I was speechless. I was flabbergasted. I was shaking in my boots. I was listening on repeat 24/7.
If you want a heartbreaking love song with one of the best bridges Conan has ever written, this song is for you. 9/10.
- Young Royals
The third and final season of Young Royals came out and I’m going to be so for real right now…if this story wasn’t about gay people it would be painfully boring. This show is incredibly slow. There’s about one sentence every five minutes. Plus, it’s in Swedish, so I have to decide between subtitles or an English voiceover that doesn’t match the mouths.
To continue being honest, I also haven’t finished the season yet…and if it doesn’t end with Simon and Wilhelm smiling and being happily in love I’m going to actually be so upset.
I won’t give this a for sure rating just yet…but I can assume I’ll give it a solid 7/10.
- A Bit Fruity
Matt Bernstein is the creator of the podcast A Bit Fruity, and if I could say one thing to Matt it would simply be “I love you.” If you are in the least bit liberal, or even know someone liberal, you probably follow, or at least have seen someone repost, Matt’s Instagram. Matt posts a lot about queer news and education about the community. They’re funny, critical, and somewhat recently started a podcast. And it’s saying a lot that I love it so much because I am not a podcast girly. I can appreciate one, but they can get boring. Never Matt’s! They’re funny, well-thought out, and so so interesting. As someone deeply interested in queer theory and politics surrounding queerness, this podcast was literally made just for me. I’m truly hooked every episode. New episodes are released on Tuesdays every other week, and let me tell you, Tuesday cannot come soon enough.
Definitely another 9/10.
Average Asexual 