For the sake of science I decided to try online dating…again.

We all know I had quite the time on Tinder (if you didn’t know that you can read about it here) and since then I have not had any romantic encounters or ventured onto any other dating apps. However, the other day my dear friend, Rana, who was a part of the Tinder Experiment asked me if there was an asexual dating app. 

An ace dating app?! That was something I had never even thought of, so I quickly went onto the World Wide Web to check it out.

And to my disappointment, there was not one.

However, upon further research (aka skimming Reddit) I was informed about two dating apps that were portrayed as “asexual friendly” so I decided to do what any curious ace does, and download them. The apps recommended were HER and Taimi, but the first app that popped up when I researched Taimi was Zoe, and Taimi had poor reviews, so I downloaded Zoe as well as HER. There was another dating app I got ads for a lot on Tiktok, but I couldn’t remember the name, so these were the only two I looked at. 

I first downloaded HER and did all the things. I made my little profile, put my name and pronouns, and uploaded a few pictures. I gave the basic information: I’m asexual and queer, 19, an Aquarius, I don’t drink or smoke, etc etc. My bio said “probs crocheting and listening to conan gray :).” Very creative? No. Very accurate? I’d have to say yes.  

After that I began my swiping. Now, the following I’m going to say might be kinda rude. But I’m being honest about my experience, so here goes.

Everyone was ugly. Half of the pictures I swiped on looked like they had been taken on a toaster, and the other half seemed to be people trying to look hot or cool by including pictures of their boobs or them smoking. And sure…that’s what some people like, but that’s not my cup of tea. 

Additionally, a lot of the people were overweight, and as someone who prioritizes their health and is at the gym five days a week, that was quite a turn off.

Because of all of that, I ended up swiping left on everyone. I know I have a somewhat specific type, but geez, how hard is it to upload a picture of your entire face, not just half?! It must have been an off day in the world of online dating because it wasn’t the cream of the crop as they say.

Listen, I’m clearly not an online dating pro…or even really an enthusiast, but come on. Like, at least choose a good picture for your profile?! And don’t even get me started on the people who just posted memes or pictures of their cat. 

HER was basically the same experience as Tinder. I didn’t find people very attractive, no one was my type, and I permanently deleted my account. 

I didn’t have much hope for the next app, but I did decide I wanted to try and keep it a bit longer than the first one because I downloaded HER for approximately ten minutes. I know I know, not a very good experiment, but what can I say, I’m an English major, not a STEM girly. 

Zoe was a bit easier to navigate than HER, although I did have to add all the info about myself manually, the app didn’t direct me to it, plus the selections I could make for my interests were pretty limited. There wasn’t even a single option for crafts, crocheting, or CrossFit! 

Also I couldn’t figure out how to get the distance out of kilometers so I actually had no idea how far away anyone was. I ended up swiping left on every single one of the people within a fifty kilometer radius of me, so I had to expand it to one hundred…which put my potential suitors out of state. 

Much to my surprise, I actually saw one person who I thought was somewhat attractive so I swiped right. And a bit later a second because, for science, I should probably swipe on more people. Unfortunately they didn’t match with me, so after about thirty minutes I deleted the app. 

So, are these “asexual friendly” dating apps actually good for ace people?

For what I was looking for, no. 

There wasn’t an option to seek out other aces or just people looking for a nonsexual relationship which is what I would prefer. Having a specific section for romantic relationships would also eliminate a lot of the people looking for friends with benefits, a third, an experiment, or the people who put a whole lot of boob in their photos. 

Is it possible to meet someone on these apps? Well yeah, of course. I personally don’t see myself turning to dating apps for a couple reasons. One, at the moment I’m perfectly happy being single. Maybe if I was a bit older, instead of a literal teenager I would put a bit more effort into finding a significant other. But let’s be real, what’s the chance I meet the love of my life at nineteen? Unless I’m actually in the year 1950 or unbeknownst to me, attending BYU, I’m gonna say pretty darn unlikely. 

Secondly, I would prefer to meet someone in person. However, that doesn’t mean in the future I won’t try online dating, and heck, maybe my blog post in a couple months will be how I’m in the happiest relationship ever thanks to online dating. You never know what the universe has in store. 

Now, it would be interesting if I met someone I actually liked on these apps, and instead had a story about how I’m talking to someone and excited about it, but alas, that is not my current situation. And honestly, I didn’t expect it to be. I downloaded the apps to see if I could easily meet other ace people, with a pretty sure hunch I wouldn’t. And I was right. 

What did we learn from this experiment? 

Someone needs to make a dating app for asexuals, or at least a dating app where one can filter the exact type of relationship they’re looking for. 

I also learned that a lot of people on dating apps are high key uggo and don’t know how to post good pictures of themselves.

Also, a lot of people are overweight and smoke and drink.

I am never one to lower my standards, and honestly, anytime I hear someone say to anyone that their standards are too high or they should, god forbid, settle, my standards go up out of spite. 

Alright. That’s all the info I got. Maybe my next blog post will be about a great new ace dating app I found, but until then, I’ll be staying away from online dates. 

• Asexuality