In honor of pride month (the best month of the year) I thought it would only be fitting to enlighten my hetero readers and laugh with my queer ones on things that are just honest and true aspects of gay culture.
Here’s a mandatory disclaimer: obviously there’s no one way to look or be or act queer…this list is simply things that a lot of the members of the queer community relate to and find funny/relatable/true for themselves and their friends in the community. If these are relatable to you, yay! And if they’re not, that doesn’t make your identity any less valid.
The following is a list of things that I, a queer, Gen Z, asexual, agree are 100% a part of gay culture:
- Tattoos
Specifically left and right hand tattoos as well as any and all tarot card tats.
- Trader Joe’s
Trader Joe’s is for every type of gay. The vegans. The vegetarians. And the gays with stomach issues who need dairy free or gluten free products.
- Oat Milk
The gays love saving the planet, and oat milk is the most environmentally friendly milk, and is claimed to be the creamiest. (I personally think soy and cashew are the creamiest but that’s another conversation).
- Dyed Hair, Piercings, and Unconventional Haircuts
This is just like the tattoo thing, anything that will set your appearance apart from the norm is inherently queer in a gay way and a different/odd/other definition of queer way. Having fashion colored hair, lots of piercings (especially lots of face piercings and nose rings), and haircuts that scream androgyny or shaggy/skater boy/mullet are so queer.
- Cuffed Jeans
If you’re queer you cuff your jeans. End of discussion.
- High Top Converse
Low rise Converse are for straight people and high top are for the gays. I don’t exactly know why, but probably because high tops are cooler and they cover your exposed ankle after cuffing your jeans.
- Walking Fast
Gay people walk fast. It’s in our blood and gives us less time to be hate crimed!
- Brunch
Gays either love or passionately hate brunch. I am a gay who loves brunch. If someone was walking fast for no apparent reason I might say “Wow! They’re walking faster than a gay late for brunch!” (I’m dead serious this is in my vocabulary and gays also are always on time if not early).
- Being Good at Everything
Now. No one is good at everything (besides me). But gay people have nothing if not the audacity to tell themselves they can do anything. Painting a house? Sure. Building a table? Easy. Running for mayor? I’m gay, aren’t I?
- Theatre
Gays love a performance. They love the theater. Drag. Drama. Camp. Glitz and glitter. We love a theme. We love an event.
Plus, are you really queer if you didn’t do theater in high school or love your English teacher?
- Being Incredibly Indecisive
Gay people cannot make decisions. Ask a group of gays where you want to go for lunch and you’ll never go anywhere. Plus, think of all the bisexual, pansexual, agender, and non-binary people out there. They don’t even have to choose their gender or who to date! You think a genderfluid pansexual is going to make a choice? Think again.
- Grandmother Hobbies
Ask a gay how old they are and they’ll tell you. Ask a gay how old they mentally are and they’ll say 75. Gays love hobbies that your grandmother would do at the retirement home. This includes, but is not limited to; crocheting, knitting, baking, sewing, gardening, and jewelry making.
- Having Very Niche Collections
Very niche interests is a queer thing, and a neuro-divergent thing as well, since a lot of members of the LGBTQIA+ community are also nuero-divergent! This could include, but is not limited to collecting crystals, plants, records, stuffed animals, and figurines (of cats, frogs, or dragons).
- Thrifting
With the way oat milk is being charged at coffee shops in this economy you better believe the gays are thrifting and saving their money buying second hand clothes. We gotta save money for our $8 oat milk matcha lattes and hair dye. Plus, it’s environmentally friendly and you can find unique pieces or customize things yourself!
- Vegetarian or Veganism
This one goes hand in hand with the oat milk saving-the-environment and gays-have-stomach-issues thing. I know a lot of vegetarian and vegan people, and I’m pretty sure all of them are queer.
- Layering Clothes
Tank top. T-shirt. Long sleeves. Pants. Belt. Funky socks. Jewelry. Hair clips. It’s a difficult time for the gays in summer when they can’t wear twenty pieces of clothing. Once again it’s for the aesthetic. It’s camp.
- Rings and Funky Earrings
This goes hand in hand with the layering clothes because gays love accessories. Want to tell if someone’s gay? Check to see if they have a ton of rings (especially thumb rings) and/or hand tats.
- Having Gay Friends
The only unrealistic thing about movies starring LGBTQIA+ people in the 21st century is that they have straight friends. Gay people have gay friends. Somehow you all started out straight in middle school but slowly came out. The gays subconsciously find each other.
- Tumblr
Tumblr is for the niche topic gays as well as the emo ones. Additionally, the gays love other websites where one can post memes and other things – to me this has the same energy as Pinterest and fan accounts on Insta.
- Eyeliner
If a gay person could only choose one makeup product it would be eyeliner. So many colors. So many shapes. It adds so much to a look and it truly looks good on everyone.
Here’s a list of the ones I relate to:
Tattoos, Trader Joe’s, oat milk, dyed hair, cuffed jeans, high top Converse, beng good at everything (duh), being indecisive, having grandmother hobbies, having niche collections (nail polish), being vegetarian, wearing rings and funky earrings, having gay friends, and loving eyeliner.
I also somewhat relate to walking fats, brunch, theater, thrifting, and layering clothes. However I don’t walk incredibly fast, feel very passionately about brunch (although I enjoy it), I didn’t do theater (but I loved all my English teachers), I only thrift occasionally, and I don’t layer my clothes too heavily.
The only thing on this list that doesn’t apply to me is Tumblr. I was never an emo Tumblr kid back in like 2012 or whenever.
Okay that’s all. I hope you found this educational and so so funny as always. Happy pride month!!! Yay gay!!
Average Asexual 