I have unfortunately come to the realization that there are in fact homophobic people in the world. 

The other day I attended my college’s gay club, as one does, where the president shared a story about transphobia in his work place. This incited a lot of fear for him, as he is a trans man, and for his own safety, has not revealed that to any of his colleagues, who were making transphobic comments. Although he played it off a bit as a funny storytime, it was obviously a huge concern and something that saddened and worried everyone in the club. 

(As a side note, I am so extremely grateful for this club, it provides me with so much comfort and acceptance. I am so happy whenever we meet, and I didn’t know this was the kind of community I needed until I got to experience it. I appreciate everything the leaders of this club do and the safe space they provide). 

On top of that, my campus was holding elections for the school government, and a rumor went around that one of the senators running was racist and homophobic and had made numerous remarks that were labeled as microaggressions. I do not know what kind of homophobic things this person had said, but I had unfortunately heard (through trustworthy sources) that this person had made weird and uncomfortable remarks about race. So, it is unfortunately very likely that this person is homophobic as well. (I will make a note here as well, that this person received very rude and inappropriate messages due to these rumors, which she should not have received, but that does not disregard the comments she made). 

I am saying all this as a preface for the following concerns I have recently had. 

I worry that I am too explicitly queer. That I make my queerness too obvious. That I make being gay and asexual too much of my personality. That my gay outfits and jewelry and jokes and topics of discussion are too predictable. When I wear a shirt that says “heterosexuality? in this economy?” and then discuss queerness, I worry it is annoying. I cuff my jeans and dye my hair and listen to queer artists. I paint my nails colors of the rainbow and wear ace flag earrings and look queer. 

These two events have made me realize that is not the case whatsoever. 

I must continue to be as queer as possible. I must continue to be so loud and gay and obnoxious not only out of spite, but for those who cannot. I have to be as gay as possible so I can grow up and be a queer adult. Do you know how many out and proud queer adults I can think of who I genuinely know? None. The amount of queer adults I simply know of in my personal life is less than I could count on one hand. I do not know any trans adults. Think about that. I rarely see adult queer people out in public because they are closeted, they don’t exist, or they aren’t alive. 

Additionally, straight people are everywhere. And they are oblivious. A few months ago I had a fellow peer  ask me if there were any boys I had my eye on. I was dressed in a way I thought read extremely queer, and was taken aback by this comment, as it was one I hadn’t received in a very long time. (This was probably a genuine question to include me in conversation, which I appreciate, but the directness of assumed heteronormativity threw me for a loop). Moral of the story is; straightness is everywhere. It’s in movies and books and on the street. It’s assumed and it’s the majority. Most straight people don’t even realize the world is so heterosexual unless they are educated on queer topics because heterosexuality is so normalized. 

I live in a bubble of privilege. I am a cisgender white woman. I go to a liberal arts school and have friends who are allies and queer themselves. My parents support me for who I am. I have never received any sort of hateful or life-threatening comments from outsiders. I will never experience life as a queer person of color. I will never experience the discrimination my trans friends face. 

The following was supposed to be a separate blog post, but I thought it was fitting to include here. I wrote this because I genuinely love being a queer individual, and I must always remind myself that my explicit queerness is important and life-saving. 

Here it is: 

I love being gay. I love being queer. I love being asexual and not labeling my romantic orientation. I love that I get to marry a pretty person one day and have cat children. I love that I have such a unique life. I love that I get to go to pride parades and gay clubs and wear rainbows. I love that I get to make gay jokes and learn about the community and read gay books and listen to queer music and meet queer friends and post on the internet every week about my silly little gay life. I love wearing gay little outfits and dyeing my hair and cuffing my jeans and wearing rainbow Converse and Doc Martens. I love the comfort and acceptance within my community. I love how caring and accepting my community has made me. 

It’s obvious that I am passionate about being queer. I have seen what happens when people are not accepted or have been taught that queerness is wrong and should be fixed. 

That causes my community to die. 

That needs to end. Now. 

You should be as queer as you want, whatever that means to you. If that means you wear rainbow clothes and pronoun pins and dye your hair five different colors, then do that. If that simply isn’t you and you don’t feel the need to be so outwardly queer, or it would compromise your safety, don’t. 

Your queerness is beautiful and special and it should be celebrated. No one should take that away from you. 

Alright. Go off and be cool gay people (or allies). 

• Uncategorized