I’ll be honest. I wasn’t going to write a blog post this week. During the week when I usually spend my time writing was instead filled with my new hobby; crocheting. About a month ago I decided I needed to learn how to crochet. So I did. And I became addicted. And instead of posting on the blog on Sunday as I usually do, I was going to spend it grinding out math homework so I don’t fail my math test on Monday. But, when I mentioned that to my friends, they were up in arms, so I have to upload for my biggest fans. I’m still going to spend Sunday studying, but I ended up with some time at this very moment and figured I could update you all on my sexuality. I know, you’re dying to know.
A very long, long time ago (four months) I wrote about how I was queer and asexual. After that, I wrote a post about how I felt that my romantic orientation was on the aromantic spectrum. Well, things have changed.
I do still identify as ace. However, my post from a few weeks ago, “Exposing My Journal Entries From My Sexuality Crisis,” got me thinking. And by thinking, I mean I remembered how I really enjoyed not labeling my sexuality. So uh, that’s that. I decided I no longer want to explicitly label my romantic orientation as queer, as I had been doing. I still love using queer and gay as umbrella terms. I call myself gay and make jokes using the word gay literally everyday. So, I have love for those terms. However, I feel a lot of…comfort…I guess I could call it, in not labeling my romantic orientation.
Also, I am not on the aromantic spectrum. At first, I labeled my romantic orientation as alterous; an orientation where one feels platonic and romantic feelings. I no longer feel that way. I’m very certain I’m alloromantic. *sarcastically celebrates*
I can’t really elaborate on how I figured this out. It’s really just one of those things I feel confident in.
Also…I don’t like men. Besides Conan Gray, obviously. That might make you say, “Jadey, that sounds like you’re a lesbian then.” And to that I would say, “No.” Now, I have seen a lot of internet discourse from queer people discussing how compulsory heteronormativity, the patriarchy, internalized/external homophobia, and the fetishization of lesbians, specifically in porn, has made it extremely difficult for many people to accept the fact that they are lesbian, and that is a term that applies to them. I know I do not have to defend my sexuality, and the labels I choose to use or not use, but I did want to discuss this. Trust me, I’ve thought about this label numerous times. And like every label I’ve tried on in order to name my romantic orientation, it never fit just right. Using the label lesbian feels too restrictive to me. I feel like that suggests I only like women, when in reality I would date anyone who wasn’t a man. Women. Non-binary people. Gender-fluid people. People with no labels on their gender. It doesn’t really matter to me how someone identifies. I’m just not that into masculinity.
This wasn’t the biggest update. And it honestly did not take a lot of mulling over. In fact, most of my thoughts about this were done while writing this post, and this has maybe taken half an hour. As I’ve said before, labels are tools, not restrictions. Labels are magnets, not stickers, they’re not permanent. If one doesn’t fit, you can remove it from your hypothetical gay fridge. And if you find a really cool one you like, like one with a frog sitting on a mushroom or Conan Gray, you could add it to your collection. Alright, I’m off to crochet.
Average Asexual 