Today’s blog post is a pretty chill one where I go over a QPR checklist; a list I found in the depths of AVEN quorums. 

This may come as a surprise, but relationship intimacy is not just sex. I know, that seems obvious, but it is often the first thought that comes to mind when one thinks of being intimate. However, as a sex-averse asexual there are definetly other ways I give, and receive, intimacy in a non-sexual relationship. I thought this would be interesting to share, especially for the allosexuals in the audience, who might not have considered these things as acts of intimacy. This is just another way to further share my personal asexual experience and what I feel comfortable with in a relationship! 

 Here’s the link on AVEN 

Aromantic/Queerplatonic Dating Checklist 

Kissing (forehead, cheek, etc): Yes!

Kissing (mouth): No thank you. 

Hand holding: YES

Cuddling: YES

Hugging: Yes!!

Other affectionate touching: I don’t know what that would be but sure!

Hugging in public: Yeah. 

Cuddling in public: Depends on the situation, but probably yes. 

Kissing (forehead, cheek, etc) in public: This would depend on the situation. 

Kissing (mouth) in public: Respectfully, absolutely not. 

Hand holding in public: Yes!

Other affectionate touch in public: Sure!

Eye gazing: Yeah. Sounds weird when you put it like that though. 

Crying on: That’s sad, but I’ve definitely done it so gonna have to go with yes. 

Being cried on: Sad but yes. 

Massage (giving): Probably not. 

Massage (receiving): Maybe…

Hair brushing (giving): If I was doing my partner’s hair then yes, but it would be a no for just random hair brushing. 

Hair brushing (receiving): If my partner was doing my hair, yes! Random hair brushing seems weird to me?? 

Nail painting (giving): YES

Nail painting (receiving): This is especially funny because I religiously paint my girlfriend’s nails, so it would be highly unlikely that she would paint my nails, but I guess if she wanted to, sure!

Shaving (giving): This makes me extremely uncomfortable. No. 

Shaving (receiving): No. 

Bathing together (with bathing suit): No. 

Bathing together (naked): No. 

Seeing my partner naked: If my partner needed to get changed and I was in the room, sure. For any other reason, no. 

My partner seeing me naked: Same as above, if I was getting changed that’s fine, but otherwise that’s just…weird…

Feeding my partner: No. 

Being fed by my partner: No. 

Tickling (being tickled): Sure. 

Tickling (doing the tickling): Maybe. 

Terms of endearment: Pet names are kinda cringe so it would have to be a really good one, which means I’m gonna go with possibly yes. 

Being called “best friend”: Yeah!

Being called “partner”: Sure!

Being called romantically-coded words (boyfriend, girlfriend, etc): Yes. 

Me having other platonic partners: …friends? 

My partner having other platonic partners: …friends? 

Me having other romantic partners: No. 

My partner having other romantic partners: No.

My partner doing romantic-coded things with someone else: No.

Me doing romantic-coded things with someone else: No.

My partner doing sexual things with someone else: Sure if they want to. 

Me doing sexual things with someone else: Gross, no. 

Touching my partner sexually: Definetly not. 

Being touched by my partner sexually: Hard pass. 

Having sex of any kind with my partner [specify if yes]: Absolutely not!

Sexual kink with my partner [specify if yes]: No. 

Non-sexual kink with my partner [specify if yes]: No.

“Romantically coded” gifts (flowers, chocolates, etc): Yes. 

Dancing: Sure.

Bed sharing (non-affectionate): Yes. 

Bed sharing (cuddling): Yes. 

Tucking my partner in: Maybe. 

Being tucked in: Maybe. 

Living together: Yes. 

[Platonic] marriage: Yes. 

Raising children together: If my partner really wants children, then adoption is a yes. 

Having pets together: Absolutely!! Cats!!

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